Monday, 18 April 2011

Meltdown time

Everyone I know, internet-wise or real life-wise is having a total facebook/real life meltdown due to Sunday's Finnish parliamentary election results. It makes for amusing conversations and if we're to believe what people are saying then Finland is about to experience a mass exodus. It remains to be seen whether some celebrity art-world figure will rise up and part the Baltic Sea to lead his/her people to the promised land (Sweden). It's gonna be beautiful.

But for the time being, I'm not going to haul myself out of here. If this election results in some kind of nazi-zombie-holocaust-apocalypse type scenario, I reckon I've played enough Fallout/Resident Evil to survive it. If needed I can give you some tips too.

#1 With all this radiation coming from Japan, Russia and even from the motherfunking ground we stand on it's probably time to gear up and prepare yourself. Forget iodide tablets, they cost way too much. Just loot any dead astronauts you might come across and take their space suits. You'll instantly get something like +40 % radiation resistance.

#2 If the right-wing True Finns succeed in their plans to build an apocalyptic scale harbinger of death superweapon that for some reason uses natural renewable energy, all you have to do is reroute its energy system so that, instead of killing all those people, it sends all that lovely juicy solar power to the people. You know for electricity and such. The people will be happy.

#3 Never leave your house. You should have already prepared for this situation by filling your tiny flat with enough provisions to last you your entire life and by building your own treadmill power generator. Because you simply cannot leave your house or answer you door. Who knows what kind of bodysnatchers or zombies or even worse TV-licence inspectors or Jehova's witnesses are there just waiting for that one simple mistake.

Enough of my survival tips.

What I really want to hear is the people's voice.
Every great governmental disappointment has resulted in music. Am I right?

"AARgh Monarchy is SHIT! Aaargh Margaret Thatcher is SHIT!" by The Sex Pistols

"George Bush and war are totally like not cool man!" by Green Day

"!!AARGhh I HATE TV revolutions!" by Gil Scott-Heron

Will Finland have its own anti-True Finn voice? We'll see. Exciting times.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you're better off taking your chances in Libya.

    Stay safe bb xoxo


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...